The honest confessions of a talentless Vtuber.
Ever since I decided to take on the role of Vtubing, I have been constantly comparing myself to other Vtubers within the community, wondering and thinking to myself if I made the right choice.
Often I would hear from surrounding friends that people frowned upon me becoming a Vtuber! It turns out a lot of non-Vtubers believe that Vtubers hide behind the presence of their avatar and that it takes far less talent to grow an audience if you are hiding behind an anime figure with a huge chest (excuse the language)!
Hearing these opinions got me wondering what kind of presence I bring to not only the Vtubing community but the streaming community at large, and I started panicking.
A lot of my senpais I watch have many wonderful talents such as singing, art streams and they are very entertaining to watch. When I watch them there is a constant grin on my face, lots of giggles, they are very interactive and I have fun watching them! But what about me? What do I bring to my viewers?
I am an introvert, I’m rather reserved and I like keeping to myself. This is probably the reason why I feel like I’m growing a lot slower than the Vtubers I admire and look up to. This is something that is always on my mind. Some days I can turn it into a motivational push, other days I struggle to look past it.
I know a lot of streamers I talk to will tell me to go back to my vods and learn from it, to do self-study as it will help me find my own mistakes.
The thought of this idea makes me cringe as I dislike my own voice and this might be a silly excuse but I don’t have a lot of free time. There are weeks where I work a 7 – 7 shift, and right after my shift, I hit the “go live” button.
However, that’s beside the point, as this is not a complaining blog post but rather the open confessions of what’s on my mind.
Somedays I wonder if I’m the only one that feels this way, other days I would literally slap a friend for speaking such nonsense about themselves. Truth be told, we never know what others are thinking and experiencing until we go through it ourselves… my little inspirational quote for the day :)
There is not a day that goes by where I’m not constantly wondering how I can improve things, worrying if my avatar is up to date and hits all the standards other streamers seem to be at. Other days I worry if people even want to watch a quiet streamer who focuses more on the game than the viewers.
Then there are very very good days, days where I feel confident, comfortable, and happy with the way I am and the content I make. Not because I believe in myself but because I see familiar faces in chat that believe in the content I create, people that keep me grounded, and friends that don’t hesitate to tell me how much they enjoy the comfy streams.
It’s days like that that help me remember why I wanted to stream and write in the first place. We always hear streamers and content creators say “I’m doing it for fun” and believe me, I am guilty of it too! But the second I see numbers dropping or unfollowing, I begin to panic.
BUT when I see the familiar names of so many kinds and caring viewers my heart races and I just want to do my best.
Chatting to everyone becomes the easiest thing in the world for me and for that split second they all have my focus… until I get killed by a monster and my focus shifts back to the game.
There is not much I can do in regards to me feeling talentless, but I can always try and work on it when I have the time. Some of you might be saying “well, make the time” and I should at some point.
Will me feeling like I have a lack of talent make me stop streaming? No, I have honestly not felt this great and comfortable in front of people that understand me. Gamers that share the same love and understanding I do when it comes to video games.
Growing up I never had a lot of friends that would play games with me, friends I could make plans with to meet up in an online game to go on grand adventures with.
And now, thanks to you all, I do! Gaming and streaming have brought me too much love and compassion for gaming and the gamers I met along the way. Vtubing has allowed my confidence to grow so much more than anything else I’ve ever done, and it has allowed me to be the person I have always wanted to be. Even if I am quiet and sometimes uncomfortable, I feel safe and surrounded by love.
I am slowly overcoming the shyness of talking to people. Will I ever be able to stand in a crowded room, in front of everyone, and say “hey this is me”? Probably not. But for now, I don’t need to do that. Right now, I am happy being your talentless, comfy Vtuber.
And now you have read the honest confessions of a talentless Vtuber, who knows, maybe I’ll try my hand at some digital art or sing a few songs when confidence sets in. But I guess the only way for you to know is to watch the stream and find out!
Until our next adventure.
Lots of Love
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Ah man I feel all this so much, like reading from a mirror. But if you’re thinking all this enough to put it to text, that’s the biggest step in my mind to getting better and better! Keep doing the thing and keep being a legend ^_^