The honest confessions of a doxxed Vtuber!
A few weeks ago I woke up to a typical Sunday, the sun was shining birds chirping and I was not working, so overall I expected it to be a good day.
We had family over for breakfast and I got to spend some time with my niece, and people I dearly care for.
When I randomly checked my phone I noticed I had a WhatsApp from a number I did not know.
For more context let me add, that I have two numbers, one for work and one that’s my personal number for family and close friends.
So when I got a random message from a number not saved on my phone, my default thought was that a client needed my help.
The message merely said Hello, and my response was Hi (It’s not like the hello gave me lots to go on).
My mood dropped a little as I worried that my now-off weekend would turn into a very busy one, especially since our country was experiencing ongoing load shedding.
For those of you who don’t know what load shedding is, well it’s simply that our South African power grid cannot handle the power demand in South Africa, so our government blesses us with forced power cuts every few houses, multiple times a day.
But back to my story, and to try and keep it short… it was not a client, the second response I got was “are you a south African vtuber”, my heart almost stopped. Blood drained from my face, I turned to my family and said, “I just got the weirdest message”.
Although for some it might not be that weird, I was extremely freaked out and worried, since I was stalked, harassed, and had my life threatened by someone I trusted and allowed into my life a few years back.
If you want more details, you will have to go and read a bit here.
To fast forward a bit, I decided not to sit still on the matter, I blocked the person and started over-stressing, as I always do. Panicking, wondering what I did wrong, where I went wrong, and how I can fix it or if it was fixable.
I tried to look at all of my options, but stopping is not something I wanted to do, so I first picked the brains of some individuals I trusted.
A few said to brush it off and tighten my privacy and security but I still had that fear and worry that the person was going to blackmail me with my number or get in contact with me again.
Only one person said it might just be easier to reset and rebrand and I preferred this option more.
Now I’m not saying vtubing is easy and can be redone with a swing of a wand. I’m merely saying it was a less stressful option for me and after a lot of thinking I decided… Sure, let’s do it.
My planned graduation announcement turned into a rushed blurt out. I originally planned to announce it on the 14th of July, and have a conversation with everyone to avoid any misunderstandings.
But my “hand” got somewhat “forced” when people started resubbing and spending bits during the stream and so I again panicked and decided to rush it a bit, to get others, not to sub or spend bits anymore.
My haste decision was a bit confusing, as I could see that it caused a lot of unsurety and shock.
And while I hoped I explained everything the best I could I feel that I should have been a bit more clear on what the next step was going to be.
Let me try and explain,
Firstly I would like to continue writing as AzuraCub, it just means I’ll need to put more security in place for my blog.
Secondly, I would like to continue to create a discord where we can all make friends, and build a community for gamers that allows everyone to have fun.
Thirdly, streaming-wise, I’m not quitting, and while I know this is very unclear after graduating, I’ve decided to share very little, if any information on the subject.
I’m going to continue streaming but I will have to shift to a new identity and not as AzuraCub, and for now, I would like to keep the details as vague as possible. Initially, the plan was to debut the new model and Chibi model I had as AzuraCub, with a different look.
However, with how things went, I decided on the reset instead.
The rebrand might have shocked some indviduals but keep in mind I need to protect my friends, mods, and my community, even if that means I need to start over and give up on what we have built so far.
My lack of knowledge regarding security and privacy is seen on most of my platforms and I’ve seen way too many incidents where security issues lead to harassment, stalking, and hate messages.
And while there has been an increase in people asking me what they could do to protect me or help me, nothing worse happened.
I’m safe and I’m actively looking at how to prevent this in the future, nothing bad has happened after the incident, but steps need to be taken and I strongly feel that this was it.
I do need to mention that I do not want any hateful talk like someone wanting to harm/deal with or threaten someone else because of what happened and judging by the support I got, I can see that there are people that cared a lot about Azzy. Some wanting to take the matter into their own hands by adding hurtful comments toward the texter.
Ask any content creator who has received backlash, hate, or has had to deal with something similar… it’s not easy talking about these things because we worry that others will take matters into their own hands.
Focusing on the positive, I want to work hard and study vtubing a bit. It sounds odd, but I hardly knew anything when I first started. Even now I struggle, I don’t have the talents everyone else does… But I want to make it work, I would like to put in more effort and make something of myself, through blogging and streaming.
I’m nervous and scared but I also see this as a good learning opportunity, I would also like to take the time away from streaming to focus on the blog a lot more and actively write.
I’m hoping that our paths do cross again, I love this community, the friends I’ve made, and the hard work we put into all of this.
Thank you all for the continued love, support, and kind messages. AzuraCub the streamer will stay in our hearts but it’s now time to make room for the “new Azzy”… Azzy the blogging Cub!
Lots of Love
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